Kitty's Honor
by Toonces
Summary: A small continuation of the episode Kitty's Rebellion.


**Author's Notes:** This is a stand alone story that is based on the episode _Kitty's Rebellion_. It's just sort of a continuation.

**Gunsmoke: **_Kitty's Honor_

Kitty stood at the end of the bar with tears running down her beautiful face. She didn't want to hurt Billy the way that she had, but what else could she have done? If he hadn't left he would have surely been killed. Matt himself had said so. She looked down at the broach in her hands and thought about Lucy and the Critt family. What would they think of her once Billy got back and told them what happened? Kitty had told Billy that she didn't have any honor to defend. She knew deep down that it wasn't true, but sometimes in dealing with the way some of the people in Dodge looked down their noses at her, she felt like it was true. They automatically pegged her as a whore and worse because of her working at the Long Branch and now becoming part owner. She could deal with whatever they had to say for the most part and it still hurt sometimes, but it was a little easier with Matt and friends like Doc and Chester.

Kitty took the broach and pinned it back to her shirt. Maybe someday Billy would realize that she was only trying to help him. She picked up the glass of whiskey that Sam had poured for her and downed it in one shot. She didn't much feel like being around people at the moment so she headed into her office quietly closing the door behind her. She went into one of the private rooms and sat down. She hadn't even bothered to wipe the tears from her face and she could feel her skin tightening as they dried. It had been quite some time since she'd had a good cry.

"The world is a cruel place," Kitty whispered to the empty room. All she ever wanted to do in life was make her own way. She didn't want to have to depend on anyone but herself. She didn't remember the details because she was so young, but she remembered the day her father had left and she felt the change in her mother afterward. He had left them with nothing and her mother was forced to find work to support them. It was actually her mother who had planted the seed of independence in her head. Most girls were brought up to strive for just the opposite. They were taught to find a man--sometimes it didn't matter whether he was good or bad--who would take care of them and get married. Kitty certainly didn't mind marriage, but it was nice to know that it wasn't her only choice. She wondered what her mother would think about her owning a saloon. "She would be proud," decided Kitty. Maybe a saloon wasn't the most respectable place, but she didn't have to depend on any man financially and not too many women could say such a thing. She and her mother hadn't had such an easy life and she was sure that her momma would be glad to know that she could take care of herself. Although some thought otherwise, she wasn't careless with her body and although she could hold her liquor, she didn't spend the day and night drinking either. Kitty sighed and leaned back in the chair she was sitting in. She always felt sleepy after a good cry and her eyelids were getting heavy. She drifted off, glad to get away from her thoughts for while.

* * *

Matt walked into the Long Branch after making sure that Billy had left on the stage safely. He looked over to where he had left Kitty, but she wasn't there. "She's in the back, Marshall," Sam informed him. 

"Thanks, Sam," said Matt as he made his way back there. Kitty wasn't in the office either, so he figured her to be in her private room. He quietly walked in without knocking and immediately noticed Kitty sleeping in the chair. He could still see the tear marks on her face. He had felt kind of useless when she came to him earlier for help. All of Kitty's concerns were real, but there was just nothing he could do to stop the situation.

Matt walked over and kneeled down in front of Kitty. She was some kind of woman, he thought with a shake of his head…sacrificing her own feelings and reputation to save Billy's life the way she did. He reached out and took a hold of her hands and watched as her eyes slowly opened.

"Matt," she said quietly. He could see the sadness in her eyes.

"Kitty, are you okay?"

"I'll be fine, Matt," she said as she sat up a little giving his hands a small squeeze. "I'm just a bit tired."

"I'm sorry I couldn't help you more with all this," Matt said as he hung his head a little. Kitty pulled one of her hands from his and placed it under his chin gently lifting his head.

"It's alright, Matt. I know I was hard on you, but you were right. There really wasn't anything that anyone could have done.

"But someone did do something and it saved his life," Matt said looking at Kitty warmly.

"Did Billy make it on the stage okay?" she inquired.

"Yeah."

"Did he say anything?"

"No, he was still pretty upset. But don't worry Kitty. I'm sure he'll realize what you were trying to do," said Matt trying to reassure her.

"Yeah, you're probably right." Kitty stood up from the chair and stretched a little. "I guess a chair isn't the ideal place for a nap," she said with a small smile. Matt stood also and came up behind her and began lightly massaging her neck and shoulders. "That feels good," she sighed. Matt then walked over to the water bowl and dipped the corner of a cloth in it. He walked back over to Kitty and gently began to wipe her tear stained face. She was touched. Her bottom lip pouted and the tears began all over again. Matt did the only thing he could and held her until they stopped.

The End.


End file.
